Faith: From Falling Away to Missionary Service

From Childhood Faith to Reluctant Distance

Sister Hawker recounts her childhood excitement about faith, recalling her eagerness for her patriarchal blessing and her joy at baptism. However, as she transitioned into adulthood, her commitment waned. Routine prayers and scripture readings with her family dwindled, and her once-enthusiastic church attendance became obligatory. Despite attending services to appease her parents, her heart wasn't in it. Her lack of spiritual practice and immersive distractions in worldly activities masked a deeper underlying conflict: her belief system was intact, yet she was fearful of the demands it claimed. The avoidance of religious commitments was a cover for fear—a fear of living fully aligned with Christ's expectations for her life.

The College Encounter: Unseen Forces

During her first semester at college, Sister Hawker faced an unexpected spiritual confrontation. Out of an otherwise unremarkable game night emerged a heated twist—contentious vibes erupted without provocation among her roommates. Shadows of negativity lingered, and nights filled with disturbing dreams persisted. Tensions rose till the feeling became tangible—something felt spiritually wrong within her dorm space. The group's realization that they were not alone led to prayer and eventually a dramatic departure from their residence. The conflict within her living situation offered an eerily unwelcome reminder of demonic forces at play, catalyzing an urgent need for spiritual reconnection and protective faith as she turned towards heavenly guidance for clarity and relief.

Divine Intervention and Redirection

The most astonishing moment for Sister Hawker occurred far removed from a formal church setting, in the middle of a crisis after she literally felt driven away from her home. In desperation, she called her mother for advice who, unsurprisingly to her, responded calmly, suggesting the use of priesthood powers. That night shifted something fundamental within her—it was more than the immediate relief of a spiritual burden; it marked a journey back to steadfast faith. During this time, her mother, without prior conversation, asked if she'd serve a mission—a definitive sign in Sister Hawker's view. Her mother's intuitive question pierced her inner turmoil, setting Sister Hawker firmly on her missionary path.

From Doubt to Devotion: The Call to Serve

After the confirmation through her mother's question, Sister Hawker felt divinely commissioned. The call to serve a mission—something she'd initially resisted due to feeling unworthy—became undeniable. Reflecting on once deeply buried fears, she comprehended her worthiness wasn't the barrier; it was misconstruing self-judgment for divine judgment. Her experience led to profound personal healing and readiness to embrace a missionary life, acknowledging that true faith motivates beyond self-interest. Now, Sister Hawker dedicates herself to bring the fullness of the Savior's love to others, sharing her testimony which is informed by intense personal trials and a firm belief in God's unyielding support for His children.