He Was Ready to Call It Off. Then Someone Knocked at 3 in the Morning.

About This Blog

Bill Berry spent 12 years watching his wife go to church without him. He met with 24 missionaries. His neighbors fixed his appliances and never charged him. He went to the temple visitors center. He watched his wife pay tithing on her own income and never complain about it.

None of it was quite enough.

In this episode of Choosing Jesus Christ, Elder Avalos sits down with Bill, a retired salesman and avid golfer from Idaho, to hear what finally happened when he knelt down and prayed out loud about the Church for the first time. Then doubted everything four days later. Then heard a knock at his door at 3 in the morning with nobody there.

Twelve Years of Watching  

Bill moved to Idaho at 13 and grew up surrounded by members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He met his future wife at 17. She was a member. He liked her. He went to church. He met the missionaries. One elder in particular he genuinely liked, and then that elder got transferred. The replacement told him Satan was the reason he had not joined. Bill did not believe in Satan at that point. He lost interest almost immediately.

They married at 21. She was faithful. He was not a member. For 12 years, she took the kids to church while he played golf on Sundays. His neighbors fellowshipped him without pressure. One brother named Cedol showed up whenever something broke in the house and almost never charged for the labor. Bill noticed. He thought: these are really good people. And they are members.

Over those 12 years, he met with roughly 24 missionaries. He was never rude. He was just not ready. Until one Sunday when his wife brought him to hear her old seminary teacher, home from serving as a mission president in Germany. Bill shook his hand, met the missionaries standing beside him, and went home. Thirty minutes later those same missionaries were at his door.

The Prayer, the Fast, and the Feeling  

Elder Larson and Elder Porter sat down with Bill that evening. After some time Elder Larson asked him directly: had he ever prayed out loud about whether the Church was true? Bill had not. They got on their knees together. Bill, his wife, both missionaries. He asked Heavenly Father if the Book of Mormon was true, if Joseph Smith was a prophet, and if he should be baptized.

Nothing happened.

Elder Larson asked if they could pray again. Bill agreed. Nothing happened again. Then Elder Larson asked if Bill had ever fasted. He had not. Bill agreed to try.

The next day was a Monday in July. A hundred degrees. Two truckloads of furniture arrived at the store where Bill worked. Everyone was at the drinking fountain. The boss bought pizza for the crew. Bill hid in the back and waited it out.

That evening the missionaries came back. Elder Porter bore his testimony and cried for the first time on his mission. Elder Larson asked Bill to pray one more time and break their fast together.

That time something happened. A warm, peaceful feeling settled in his chest. He had never felt anything like it in 33 years. He looked up and told Elder Larson he wanted to be baptized. Elder Larson said: how about Saturday? Bill said yes.

Four Days of Doubt  

The joy lasted about a day.

By Tuesday Bill was thinking about tithing. He had a wife, four kids, and they were living paycheck to paycheck. Ten percent felt impossible. By Wednesday he was thinking about the Word of Wisdom. He was addicted to alcohol, tobacco, coffee, and tea. By Thursday he had worked through tithing, the Word of Wisdom, callings, public speaking, Sunday golf, and Sunday fishing. Everything he had built his weekends around was going to change.

Then the final thought arrived: that feeling was just your body reacting to 24 hours without food and water. That is all it was. You are making a mistake.

Thursday night he decided he would tell his wife in the morning. He was done. He went to sleep.

At 3 in the morning he heard a knock. He got up and went to the door. Nobody was there. The impression came clearly: pray again about being baptized right now.

He got on his knees. He said the same prayer. The feeling came back. Just as strong. No fasting required.

He picked up the scriptures, opened them at random, and landed on Revelation 3:20. The words of Jesus Christ: behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to him.

Out of a thousand scriptures, that was the one he turned to.

When You Hit a Wall  

Joining the Church was not easy. His drinking buddies disappeared. The addictions were real. Two or three months in he could not sleep. Three nights without it. On the fourth night he woke up after one hour and told Heavenly Father plainly: I know this is true. I have no doubt. But I cannot do this. It is too hard.

The Comforter came. He went back to sleep.

Bill has carried that experience with him through every hard season since. He says everyone hits a wall eventually. A place where you cannot go forward, cannot go around, cannot get through. His advice is simple: tell Heavenly Father exactly what you are feeling. He will hear it. He will give you what you need to carry on.

Key Takeaways  

1. God is patient. Bill had 12 years of fellowship, 24 missionaries, and a faithful wife before he was ready. None of that was wasted.

2. Fasting with real intent opens a door that prayer alone sometimes does not. The feeling Bill received came on the third prayer, after fasting together with the missionaries and his wife.

3. Doubt after a spiritual experience is normal. Bill nearly called off his baptism four days after receiving a clear answer. The 3 a.m. knock came because he needed confirmation, not because the first answer was wrong.

4. Heavenly Father meets you in the scriptures at exactly the right moment. Bill opened to Revelation 3:20 by chance. There was nothing random about it.

5. When you hit a wall, pray specifically and honestly. Bill told God he could not do it. That honesty was exactly what opened the door to the help he needed.

Bill's story is one of the most personal we have shared on the Choosing Jesus Christ Podcast. Listen to the full episode to hear it in his own words. And if you are sitting on something you have been putting off for years, visit ChoosingJesusChrist.org. Our missionaries are ready when you are.